Child abuse and neglect are often a result of poor parenting techniques especially where exasperated parents go overboard and the results are dramatic for all concerned. Parents are desperately trying to learn techniques which will be effective and save them an expensive trip to a child therapist.

Children are so quick to model the behaviour of their parents. They will not do what the parent says, but they will do what the parents have modelled. Children model the behaviours that the parent has presented to them time and time again.

Parents can move in new and unexpected ways, which throws the children off guard; it may shift tension and anger to silence and laughter instantly. Above all, you use natural consequences for misbehaviour instead of punishment, so the children have to look at how they created their predicaments instead of getting angry at their parents for punishing them. Children can no longer claim that punishments or expectations are unfair, and parents can take on the role of calmly enforcing the pre-arranged consequences instead of having to impress upon the child the seriousness of the problem and scramble to find an appropriate punishment.

Parents can enforce the consequences quoting the rules set down by the whole family. In this way, they can deflect the child’s anger at the parents because the child knows that the authority of the family is what counts as the rules have been set down beforehand.

You can surprise your child by acting in a really unexpected manner – this is sometimes called a guerrilla parenting technique. If a child is fighting, then an effective way of dealing with this is to get him to do the sibling’s chores the next day. That is much more effective than sending him to his room. The fact that he now has to reflect and actually take the consequences makes a much greater impact on the misbehaving child. Belittling a child or putting her down is not part of guerrilla parenting techniques.

If you have a child showing a negative, snotty attitude, walk by and hand your child a tissue. See if your child figures it out without your help. Don’t say anything, just hand it to the child. What about the child who likes to say, ‘That’s stupid.’ If your child says this phrase a lot, say, ‘No, this is stupid,’ and do something really crazy like walk backwards with your head between your legs. Then, stroll away and leave the child wondering what that was all about.

If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, you may be a bit wary of ADHD medications which have some alarming side effects. The Adderall ADHD drug, for example, was withdrawn in Canada. Find out what alternative ADHD treatment is available by clicking on the link below.

Robert William Locke -
About the Author:

Robert Locke is a Health enthusiast who specializes in Children’s Health. He has written extensively on ADHD. Discover what ADHD Alternative Therapy is available.

Christine Hohlbaum, author of S.A.H.M. I Am: Tales of a Stay-at-Home Mom in Europe, recently reviewed the Priceless Parenting course.

In her review titled “The Class of a Lifetime” she wrote “With seven sections, it is an extremely well-organized lesson plan that covers the whole gamut of parenting. From toddler behavior to teenage talks, it is a comprehensive course that reminds us we all have choices in how we ourselves behave.”She described trying out some of the new ideas with her kids.

“It comes down to this: speaking in ‘I’ statements while telling our kids what we are going to do, alleviates common power struggles virtually immediately. I tested it out on my seven and nine-year-old. It was amazing! Instead of shouting “Get your shoes on!” while trying to get out the door, I said, “I will be in the car if you are looking for me.” Or this: “I see the struggle here. What are you going to do?” Leaving the problem up to the kid while showing interest is the key to raising independent thinkers.”“I appreciated having the Priceless Parenting course reviewed by Christine from her home in Germany.”commented Kathy Slattengren, founder of Priceless Parenting. “She provided valuable feedback as a parent with grade school children and also demonstrated that the online course can be taken from anywhere computers and internet connections are available.”  The Priceless Parenting course gives parents the tools for parenting in a way that fosters honesty, kindness, self-reliance, responsibility and self-discipline in children.

Hohlbaum concluded her review with “Parenting needn’t be a tug-of-war. With love, compassion and effective communication, we can reach common ground. Together.”

Priceless Parenting offers online parenting classes which teach specific skills needed for successful parenting. For example, parents learn effective discipline techniques for positively dealing with misbehavior without yelling or hitting!

It is possible to eliminate many undesirable behaviours through the use of better communication. (once again not really an option for small kids – because they probably would not understand!) A 3 year old should be able to understand basic concepts, though. So you should be able to explain simply to a 3 year old that you don’t want them to do something, followed by a simple introduction of an alternative behavior that is more favorable, and then decide upon a suitable reward for the child. An example of the above process looks like this – “If you get into your pajamas and brush your teeth before this TV show is over, you can stay up a half hour later.” and if your child successfully does what you have asked, grant them the reward.

Avoiding power struggles with your child is a proven formula for the encouragement of behaviour change. So by being clear, ie: requesting an action and providing a desired reward all in one statement, you should be able to eliminate any arguments. However, should your child fail to complete the required action in the specified time, they will not be punished, they simply just do not get their reward.

Better communication can potentially eliminate much of the stress of parenting. Changing child behaviour can be better managed by simply just choosing to offer rewards rather than punishments and by doing so the child will learn to cooperate. A skill that is much needed in the adult world, too.

Lucas Uren – About the Author:

There are many things that we as parents can do to manage changing child behaviour. Behavior doesn’t usually change overnight, though and a behaviour that you think you have quashed may reappear in the future. Only thing is, it will be a little easier to change a second time round.

By the way, for more information on behavior disorders and how to manage child behavior problems, visit: www.ahappychildguide.info

Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/fathering-articles/change-child-behaviour-with-better-communication-3180451.html

That is in an effort to ensure the right security and security of the kid and also to provide the most effective comfort to the child. Since parenting plan requires an enormous exercise and as it requires each little bit of detail beginning from finances to the well being of kid, there may be positively a necessity to attract out a protected parenting plan both in the interest of parents and likewise in the interest of child.

There are a lot of instances where dad and mom have to discuss and present their parenting plan in custody court or a district court to clarify how youngsters will be given care whereas parents are under separation.

Parenting plan must be authorized by the court

This agreement of parenting plan must be permitted by the court and this additionally safeguards the future of children. During this time, whereas kids are below parenting plan, dad and mom should avoid future conflicts and should follow the guidelines given by the court and must additionally discharge the responsibilities regarding youngsters with utmost care as per the guidelines.

This fashion parenting plan is unquestionably an important supply of assist to folks as well as to the children.

How the parenting plan must be made

There are various varieties, templates and worksheets can be found to element the parenting plan.  Additional there are pattern parenting plans also obtainable for the simple reference and guideline of parents who draw and draft parenting plan.

In case of occurrence of any dispute between the dad and mom, an arbitrator will have the ability to clear up the dispute of parents and an appropriate resolution is taken. A parenting plan will address a number of the important problems with bodily custody, legal custody, little one assist, health care, annual holidays for college, contact address, college capabilities and every other matter in particular related to the care of the children.

Parenting plan is in the interest and safety of children

Parenting plan also refers to medical insurance matters, arbitration, taxes and relatives or guardians for children. For the reason that entire parenting plan is within the curiosity and safety of children, every matter that pertains to the well being and wellness of child can be taken care of whereas drafting the parenting plan.

Every state has its personal laws for parenting plan.  As it is the order of court, the mother and father must abide by the legal guidelines of parenting plan and can’t violate any of the norms stated within the parenting plan.

If a parenting plan must be modified by the parents, a request to that extent hast to be filed with a court searching for a change in a particular area of parenting plan.

Easy methods to view and analyze action of parenting plan

As long as the parenting plan is working within the curiosity of children, there aren’t any points or no problems. Further till the court docket points additional orders, the prevailing parenting plan holds good for the parents and to the children.
The parenting plan is a part of divorce order

The parenting plan is part of divorce order issued by the court and when youngsters are involved there are extra pointers for the dad and mom to present correct care to the child underneath the custody of the court.

Although there are lots of flexible clauses which might be suitably permitted for a change, the permission from the court is at all times required for any change to return into effect. Additional a baby who’s above the age of thirteen can all the time testify in court about parenting plan.

Parenting plan gives many options both for parents and for children

This way, parenting plan affords many choices each for folks and for kids which isn’t solely protected but additionally very effective.

Because the court is the primary guide here for parenting plan, it’s considered that for a lot of good reasons, parenting plan is a definitely a source of assist for the security and security of children.

What are the instruments of parenting plan ?

Though there are a lot of templates accessible for parenting plan, it will be important for both the dad and mom to discuss and draw worksheets and makes an in depth parenting plan. Additional they can additionally get an entry to sample parenting plans which cowl all facets of kids and can allow a greater parenting plan for the advantage of children.
Parenting plan is unquestionably an efficient device for the financial and emotional settlement of kids

As parenting plan covers, medical advantages, insurance coverage, schooling and other provisions for the child, it will be significant for each the dad and mom, to produce the best parenting plan which is the interest of each the parents.

This may undoubtedly give the most effective care to the kids and they will be capable of gain a lot from the effectively drafted and effectively introduced draft of parenting plan.

This way, parenting plan is definitely an efficient tool for the financial and emotional settlement of children.

praveenben. – About the Author:

Visit my site parenting-skills to seize the total benefit of clarifying and Useful Articles on Parenting Skills , Free E book on Smart Parenting.

Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/parenting-plan-is-part-of-divorce-order-that-protects-the-interest-of-the-child-3410965.html

Be dedicated and passionate. Good parenting definitely takes dedication. Dedication and passion comes from the love for our children and drive to put their well being first. Being dedicated takes a lot of sacrifice. As parents, we need to sacrifice a lot of our time and personal lives. When I am dedicated to my child’s life, I know that the sacrifices are priceless investments and for an extremely important cause. I have known many parents who could not sacrifice their pleasures for their purpose. Children tend to view that as selfishness or weakness. These characteristics are learned and absorbed. With this said, it’s important to be our best as individuals and to be good examples as parents.
Practice self discipline. We teach our children to be well behaved and disciplined. We teach them to be honest and trustworthy. We teach them many things to help them be healthy, happy and productive now, and into the future. We use discipline to ensure all of these things and more for our children. If we want our children to be well disciplined, we must be self disciplined. In addition, we should expect the same from ourselves, if not more. We must remember that we can (and often do) lead more by our example than by what we say or instruct. We must practice what we are teaching. I know that when I am peaceful and positive, calm and strong, I am at my best. My children see this. I know that when I am frustrated and negative, out of control and careless, I am at my worst. My children see this. This is how I know self discipline is extremely important in parenting. It is best to control your emotions (especially anger) and learn how to deal with stress.
Discipline your children. Discipline does not only mean punish. Discipline means to teach. It is important to teach them to learn from natural consequences. They will also learn this naturally. I personally prefer to use the word consequence instead of punishment. I found it very important to set fair and logical consequences (punishments). This will keep the child focused on the lesson and make it less likely that they will be distracted or focused on their emotions, anger and resentment.It is also important to set guidelines and expectations enforced by a rewards and consequences system. This can consist of simply rewards and incentives for good behavior, and consequences and corrective action for bad behavior. Make sure to be consistent in your parenting.
Be a good and positive example to your children. Children have many influences. We can be responsible and be an icon of positive influence to our children. It’s important to understand that it is not only what we say that influences. Our vocalization is not the only message we send. Relaying our intended messages can be difficult. Most of the time, people need to make personal changes when they become a parent. They find themselves changing how they react to things or express opinions and feelings.
Always use communication. Be an active listener. This will enable you to be more effective and productive at being a parent and solving problems. This is when children learn and also when parents learn. It’s very reciprocal. I found that my children teach me a lot about my parenting. It should be assertive and constructive communication. You shouldn’t use criticism, contempt, aggressiveness or defensiveness. Passive-aggressiveness is also very counterproductive. Communication should be used for conflict resolution and problem solving. During communication, everyone should express their feelings openly.
Show you children respect and teach them to respect others. Just you showing them respect will automatically teach them to have respect for others. I know that when children are shown disrespect, they can learn to not respect themselves. If they don’t have respect for themselves, it is likely that they will not have respect for others. I’m sure that we can all recall a situation where we were disrespected and lashed out at others because of it. It’s the same for children and they can form habits (good and bad) very easily and quickly.
Respect your children as individuals. They have their own minds and lives. The will have their own personalities, ideas, and feelings about the world. Always remind yourself that they are individuals, and they are their own person. They are not you and may have different thoughts and actions. Always respect their dignity. We must be very careful not to oppress our children. We should treat them how we would like or expect to be treated.
Instill happiness and self worth in your children. Show them positivity, not negativity. Be careful and thoughtful of your children’s feelings and needs. It’s terrible when parents inflict damage on their children’s psyches. It’s not fair to children. Oppression is wrong. Many children carry these emotional damages well into their adult lives and even spread it to their own children.We need to make our children feel loved, wanted, needed and useful. This will give them a sense of importance and self worth. We equally need to encourage them and teach them to be confident and love themselves. We should always want to lift them up when they are down. We need to be an inspiration to our children.

Do not humiliate your children. We want our children to be proud of themselves. At time, children make mistakes or do things that are not good or shameful. We should still treat them with dignity as we teach them right from wrong. Humiliation and shame are painful emotions for children to deal with. Our main focus in our disciplinary tactics should not be to make them feel ashamed of themselves. This can permanently damage their confidence and self esteem. I like to use privacy and confidentiality when disciplining a shameful act.
Give your children praise. Compliment them. This will encourage them and let them know when they are doing the right thing. It is also important to receive praise well. This will show them how to react to praise. This is simple because we all like to make our children feel good. It makes us feel good. It’s wonderful when all family members are happy together.
Teach your children good values and morals. This goes along with teaching them right from wrong. Teach them the importance of honesty and fairness. These traits can stay with them for life.
Teach your children self control. It’s important that they can express their emotions, but there should be limits and a level of control. This is especially critical to children who act on their emotions. In essence, you are teaching them to control their actions. Teaching them self control will greatly benefit them throughout life. Teaching patience and control of anger are popular lessons for young children.
Teach your children to be kind, gentle and empathetic. Teach them to be understanding, patient, accepting and tolerant. Teach them about social awareness, social injustice, differences and diversity. Teach them about giving and taking (reciprocation) and the rule of action and reaction. Teach them that what they do as an impact on other people or things.
Instill a sense of purpose, duty and citizenship in your children. This will help them be, and feel like a good member of society. All their lives they will be around other people and have to properly function in a society. We like to see our children to grow up to be helpful and prolific people. It is good to teach children to get along with others and to work as a team at an early age. Recreational and community activities can be great ways to learn these values.
Teach your children responsibility and a good work ethic. Most parents do this by assigning chores to their children. It’s good to hold them accountable for their actions and to make them responsible for things in their life. As children grow, we should give them more responsibility and further their understanding of the importance of having a good work ethic. My children may groan about a certain responsibility they have, but when they complete it, they feel happy and proud. Chores and responsibilities will give them a sense of duty and usefulness.
Teach your children the importance of education and learning. Starting at an early age is ideal. Implement a study time for them, as well as times to read. I started reading to my children regularly when they were very young. It as proven to be very effective in helping them develop a love and an interest for reading and learning. I also set up reading and study times for myself, as this provides a good example. It is also pinnacle to monitor and be aware of what your children are learning and being taught. A quality education is essential and is something every child should have access to.
Teach your children about finances. This goes along with lessons about how the world works. Children are born into a world that has systems already in place. One of the most important and powerful systems is the economic system. Most civilizations were built on money and are controlled by money. I feel that it is very important to educate children about economics and finances. We want our children to know how to control their money and lives so they won’t be controlled by money or those with money and power. I have read many studies regarding children whose parents did not teach them these skills. The studies showed that those children had significantly higher odds of having financial difficulties as adults. When lecturing about basic survival skills, it is necessary to include modern day survival skills.
Teach your children to be skilled decision makers and problem solvers. I encourage my children to make decisions and solve problems on their own. I even use simulation to enhance their skills. If they are unable to solve a problem or need guidance, then I step in and help.
Teach your children to be independent and self sufficient individuals. Most children love to do things by themselves. They are full of zeal to learn and experience. We should always encourage them to do things on their own, as long as it‘s safe and within their capability. We should also instruct them on how to do things on their own. As long as it’s reasonable and completely safe, I tell my children, “Think about it and figure it out” or “Try to do it yourself.” This challenges them and very rewarding when they acknowledge that they did it themselves. It also shows them that you trust them and have faith in them. Children and people alike need to feel that others believe in them. Encourage your children to be free thinkers, think for themselves and not just always believe and think how others think or tell them to think. Encourage them to question things, research for answers, investigate, seek the truth, stay true to themselves and to their beliefs and morals. Also encourage them to always defend and stand up for the truth as well as their beliefs. Individual autonomy is something that should be taught. They should also be encouraged and warned to think about things rationally, realistically, and carefully. This will help them make better choices and decisions in life.
Guide your children well. Give them good guidance to help them live and think in a positive and constructive way. Be careful not to misguide them or misinform them. I always encourage my children to research and investigate to figure things out for themselves. I also encourage them to ask a lot of questions and even question a lot of information. I encourage them to be autonomous (a free thinker).We teach our children to walk, talk and think. We then teach them to restrict movement, words and thoughts. We need to be careful not to prevent or stop our children from developing their minds, curiosities, creativity and passions. Of course we should be reasonable, but we should let them explore and experiment to learn about the world around them. We should let them ask many questions. When we answer, we should answer well and let them form and cultivate their own thoughts and understanding. It’s unfair to deprive them of that.
Encourage your children’s interests, talents and skills. Encourage them to follow their hopes and dreams. Support them in their activities and ambitions. Support them throughout their development and phases, as they are finding their sense of self. Encourage them to set goals and strive to achieve them. Motivate them and help them keep their momentum. I find myself lecturing with what I learned from not doing something more than what I learned from trying something or achieving something.
Be a dependable and reliable parent. Be there for your children no matter what.  Help them when they need it. Never abandon or forsake them. Be in their corner and at their defense. Our children will face a lot of adversity and learn disappointment and disgust from disloyalty and mistrust. It shouldn’t come from us too.Show them stability, as this is greatly needed in their lives.
Spend time (quality and quantity) with your children. Play with them and have fun with them often. Fun parents make happy children. Create fun activities and traditions. We are parents, teachers and authority figures, but we can also be fun friends. Cherish the times that are spent together. This will create memories that will last in the hearts and minds of them and you for life.
Be attentive, vigilant and observant to your children’s lives. If you see problems or potential problems early, they can be more easily corrected. Teach them those skills to use in their own life. Prevention is usually easier than resistance or correction.
Keep your children safe. Provide them a safe environment. Protect them at al costs. There are many dangers and threats, especially when they are young. Be observant and aware of your children’s surroundings. When my children were young, I was often referred to as worrisome. But I always believed in being passionate about my children’s survival and well being. Like the old saying goes, “It’s better to be safe than sorry.”
Teach your children about self preservation. Children develop natural survival instincts, but it is important to explain to them the physical dangers in the world. It’s also important to teach them about the limits and vulnerabilities of their bodies. I taught my children at a young age about their anatomy. I also taught them about unnecessary risks and dangers. Examples of unnecessary risks would be: Riding on motorcycles and all terrain vehicles, and other dangerous/risky activities for thrill only.When children get older, then it’s important to teach self preservation in many forms from keeping themselves alive and healthy to maintaining all aspects of their lives.
Take your children’s health seriously. Keep a healthy environment for them. Be an advocate for health. Be weary about what your children eat and drink. Healthy habits are learned as children.Be extra attentive to your children’s physical and mental health. I have had many experiences with physicians and health care professionals either overlooking or misdiagnosing health problems or disorders. We often need to be proactive and research and examine things ourselves. If a health problem is discovered, have it treated with the best course of action. Take it seriously and work diligently to solve and correct the problem. Be thorough and comprehensive. Seek the best health care possible and never procrastinate. With serious health problems, time is of the essence.
Teach your children to love and enjoy life. Teach them to be happy and positive throughout various circumstances. Help them learn to be resilient and persevere through difficult situations. Help them learn how precious life is. Help them learn that it is best to make the most out of life and to enjoy life to the fullest. Teach them to be grateful and appreciative. Help them to possess peace of mind and know how to find and keep happiness and comfort in their own mind.
Learn from your experiences and the mistakes you make as a parent. Also, learn from the mistakes of others. You can learn the right way to do something from someone who did it wrong. Learning from other people’s experiences and examples can be a great teacher and help you cultivate your parenting skills and ideas. Your children can also be great teachers. Listen to their words and think about their reactions. Be observant and receptive. I once wrote a questionnaire for my children to answer. It pertained to my parenting and how I was doing as a parent in their minds. Some answers were funny and unrealistic. Other answers were very interesting and gave me some good insight. Over all, it was very informative and beneficial.If we are making parenting mistakes, we can make changes now. When we realize a mistake, we should change that way of parenting immediately. We must be assertive while making sure not to make the same mistakes again. We need to take the most important job of parenting seriously, while having a lot of fun at the same time.
Love your children unconditionally. Love them regardless of the mistakes they make or who they become. This comes naturally, but children really need to know it. The first sentence in this paragraph could then be; show your children unconditional love. Tell your children that you love them on a regular basis. Children need to feel love. Tell them that you are proud of them. Make them feel loved and proud of themselves. Tell them that they are great children and people. Make them feel important and needed. Give them lots of hugs and kisses. Make them feel safe and comforted. Let them know that you will always be there for them and that you will always love them.
The order in which I listed these attributes has no significance. Most of us are already doing these things and striving to be the best parents possible. I hope that I provided some good insight into what it takes to be a good parent. I also hope that I provided helpful information to those seeking good parenting advice.Many would say the meaning of life is to reproduce and continue humanity. We produce children who are the continuance and future of humanity. We want the continuance and future of humanity to be bright and positive. Parents have a huge impact on the lives of our children, as well as on humanity.

John – About the Author:

John Swanson, parenting author from Parenting Resources and Reviews

http://parentingresourcesandreviews.webs.com/

Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/parenting-list-commandments-3527721.html

The Happy Child Guide written by Dr Blaise Ryan is a indepth parenting guidelines ebook that delivers effective strategies to deal with a broad variety of bad behavior in children.

If you are a parent who is struggling to find an effective parenting techniques to discipline your child that actually work to eliminate back-chat, tantrums and defiant behavior, Dr Ryan’s Happy Child Guide is the answer!

The Happy Child Guide is a in-depth, easy-to-understand parenting guidelines manual that will show you a range of fabulously effective disciplinary and parenting techniques with regard to:

• How to deal with a child that doesn’t listen
• How to best handle defiant behaviour
• How to handle tantrums and outbursts
• How to put an end to the back-chat and argumentative attitude
• How to handle aggressive or violent behavior, including biting, hitting and punching
• How to get your child to listen and cooperate
• How to deal with sibling rivalry
• How to transform your troublesome child into a kind, well-behaved, happy child!

The Happy Child Guide reveals a host of common parenting mistakes – mistakes that most parents make every day – and provides breakthrough tips on how to avoid these mistakes and better deal with your child’s bad behaviour.

If you’re feeling like you’ve tried absolutely everything and absolutely nothing is working for you, don’t despair… The expert parenting techniques provided by Dr Ryan in the Happy Child Guide will help you solve your parenting challenges!

If your child is prone to bad behavior, right now you might be doubting your parenting skills, but when you visit the official Happy Child Guide website, take comfort from the free video on the site that explains why your child’s bad behavior is NOT your fault!

This is great news if you are one of the many parents who are constantly racking your brain trying to work out why your child is prone to misbehaviour, and questioning if it’s your fault.

Dr Ryan’s C-Factor Theory – The Key to Misbehavior

According to Dr Ryan, bad behavior in children has to do with the brain’s chemistry. His theory, in a nutshell, is that because the ‘fight or flight’ response in children is caused by cortisol levels in the brain, effectively managing your child’s cortisol levels will help moderate their behavior. Dr Ryan refers to this as the C-Factor.

In direct relation to each other, when cortisol levels rise, so too does the level of misbehavior. Which means, according to Dr Ryan, that aggressive behavior, back-chatting, arguing, tantrums, etc… All of this bad behavior results from a chemical reaction that occurs in a child’s brain.

The video then goes on to explain that there are 3 keys to managing a child’s cortisol levels that you can employ to get a better grip on your child’s bad behavior.

Are Your Parenting Techniques Making Things Worse?

The Happy Child Guide outlines how many of the parenting techniques regularly promoted and used today are ineffective because they contribute to increasing a child’s cortisol levels. Which means it’s quite likely that right now you are unknowingly making the situation worse!

Many of the unique parenting techniques covered in this comprehensive book are genuine eye-openers…

For instance, have you ever attempted using punishment or rewards as a disciplinary measure? Yes? The majority of parents have.

The fact is that these widely used parenting techniques trigger fear in a child and boost cortisol levels in his or her brain. And that’s exactly why those kinds of parenting techniques simply don’t work.

If the disciplinary and parenting techniques you are using now aren’t working, then it’s time to switch your style and try something entirely new – techniques that have proven to be incredibly effective for many thousands of families worldwide, successfully transforming their ‘little terrors’ into calmer, happier children!

When you begin using the parenting techniques explained in The Happy Child Guide, your family life will enormously improve… within just a few weeks!

So grab yourself a copy of the Happy Child Guide right now and get on the fast-track to putting a permanent end to your child’s bad behaviour today!

There are ways that we as parents can identify whether or not our child is currently or is likely to suffer from changing child behaviour. Our children are changing all the time in many more ways than one. The information that they are required to remember on a daily basis can sometimes become overwhelming and this creates a lot of stress, even for toddlers.

Some problems that we as parents can make ourselves aware of are easily identifiable by just monitoring our kids.

Some problems that we can easily identify are -

Communication based problems – Talking too fast / or not talking at all. It may be that the child is having trouble with word processing and jumbles up the words or forgets what he or she is trying to say. This problem can be monitored and adjusted over a period of time by utilizing a management plan.
Interactive behavioural problems – The way your child interacts with other children is a good way to see if he or she is well balanced and happy. If they are playing happily and contentedly without sign of any problems, you probably have nothing to worry about. On the other hand, if they are finding it difficult to interact with other kids and are showing signs of being withdrawn and or isolating themselves – You may have a problem. Kids naturally want to play with other kids (even kids that they don’t necessarily like very much) so IF your child doesn’t want to play with other kids, you need to address this quickly.
Low self esteem – This is kind of related to the above point and can also be the cause of many behavioural problems in children. This is more of a child psychology related issue and is something that needs to be given special attention before it becomes a long term problem.

As parents we want our kids to be happy and normal and we don’t want them to develop any long term behavioural problems. Short term behavioural problems however, are normal and a big part of every day life. If these changing child behaviour problems are not managed, though they could potentially become long term problems.

Lucas Uren – About the Author:

Lucas Uren is the father of 3 beautiful, sometimes normal, sometimes very misbehaved children. It is this misbehaviour that led him to research about changing child behaviour and is now much more able to effectively manage the ever present problems that most parents face. For more information and to see a great guide that Lucas found on changing child behaviour visit this site.

Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/parenting-tips-for-managing-changing-child-behaviour-2991763.html

Do you want to relate more effectively to your children? This article by Carina van Vuuren, educational psychologist, explains that every parent could use training in order to be the best parent for their children.

Why do parents need training?

• For a long time our society has demanded special training for all kinds of workers who deal with children – for teachers, counsellors, psychologists, social workers and child psychiatrists.  It is however ironic that the most important people in the child’s life, the parents, usually attempt to parent without special training.
• Our society’s general shift from an autocratic attitude to a democratic attitude and towards social equality has presented challenges that most people – especially parents, are not prepared to meet.
• Children today tend to believe they have the rights and parents have the responsibility.
• It is time that us parents become familiar with a discipline technique that replaces reward and punishment, permits choice and allows children to be responsible for their own decisions.  This alternative to reward and punishment is called “natural and logical consequences.”
• It is essential that parents learn to understand their child’s behaviour, misbehaviour and emotions. People are decision making social beings that have physical and emotional needs.  One of the main emotional goals in life is to belong.

More about behaviour – Understanding yourself as a parent

• All behaviour, including misbehaviour, serves a purpose.

Emotions

• Emotions serve a purpose.  They can be destructive or encourage you to be kind and loving.
• Feelings do not “just happen.”  We bring them about because they are influenced by our beliefs.
• Emotions can be used to control and retaliate against others, or to protect and excuse us from functioning.
• You are responsible for your own feelings and behaviour.

Lifestyle

• The family atmosphere and values, sex roles, family constellation and methods of training may influence the child’s beliefs about himself and others.
• Misbehaving children are discouraged children.

The Good parent

• Good parents believe they must do everything for their children.
• Good parents believe they must “snoopervise” their child’s every move.
• Good parents rob children of self-confidence and independence.
• They protect their children from the consequences of their behaviour, and prevent them from learning.

The Responsible parent

• Responsible parents give children choices and let them experience the results of their decisions.
• Be kind and show respect for your child.  Be firm and show respect for yourself.
• Controlling, dominating, overprotecting and pitying all violates respect for the child.
• It is in the child’s best interest to help him become responsible.

Carina van Vuuren
Educational Psychologist
c@absamail.co.za
www.exceptional-living.co.za

Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/understanding-childrens-behaviour-and-misbehaviour-4086160.html

Misbehaviour stems from a child’s unmet needs. Many children start to learn that the only way they are able to get attention is by throwing a tantrum and from a child’s point of view, any attention is better than none, even if it is negative attention.

As a parent, you role is to make sure your children are getting their needs filled in constructive, positive ways, not getting their attention by behaving badly. The most productive way to do this is by praising and reinforcing their good behaviour. It is essential that as parents, you spend plenty of quality time talking, reading and playing with you children.

Often parents think that having washed clothes, cooked meals and transported children to and from school they have spent all their time doing things for their children. In reality children need their emotional and spiritual needs met and to be stimulated and extended mentally. This could be involving children more in your daily tasks/ routines that involves question asking or mastering of a skill, such as cooking or involve yourself more with their routine, finding out what they did at school, what homework they have.

It has been scientifically proven that children who interact more with parents, have more conversations, are read more stories and play lots of games with their parents are better developed socially and perform better at school.

Families which communicate and interact socially more are far better prepared to weather the challenges of family life. As parents it is essential you focus on building a strong relationship with you children rather than punishing or emphasising their bad behaviour. You will get much more satisfaction out of parenting when you have as much fun as possible and reinforce your children getting attention in positive ways. Make sure they know, their bad behaviour is nothing to do with how much you love them; but NEVER make compliance a condition of your love and approval.

Although this is a common reasons for misbehaviour, children can misbehave for many different reasons ranging from changing environments to imitations of parental behaviour.

Author: Ryan Kinsella

Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/the-main-reason-why-your-child-is-misbehaving-2822416.html

Basics Of Parenting

Today, the one and the only question that is in the minds of everybody is “where are the youth of this generation going?” as the lifestyle and values of the youth is bothering the society to say the least. Though the  problems created by the youth and the problems faced by them are innumerable, it is not the state of affairs of the youth alone that is causing anxiety. The baby on its way into this world, new born babies and the children in different stages of growth  also face and cause problems. While trying to find the root cause of the problem it is the parents who are blamed for it, most of the time.   Though they are not the sole cause, they have a major role to play.   Their success in parenting depends on the kind of parents they are, their environment, the support from the family, the possibility of getting trained for parent hood, the level of education, the nature of the child concerned etc.,. The problems, mostly psychological, would vanish with proper  parenting.  In the early days, people mostly lived in joint families.  The experience and advice the young parents received from the elders, parents, aunts, grand parents, uncles, guided them in the process of parenting.  The children also had many people to support them, to allow them to vent their feelings and  to learn the probable ways of findings solutions to their problems.

True Story

While talking to a group of adolescent girls shocking messages came to light.   Many of the adolescent girls were having illicit relationship with auto drivers with whom they were coming to school.   Deeper analysis brought out the fact that these girls were longing for love from their parents.    When an iota of love or something akin to it is shown by the auto driver, they easily fall a prey to the former’s devious designs; of course they suffer later when they find it difficult to extricate themselves from the driver’s clutches.    Only the parents can help these children.    One of the great, noble traits of parenthood is love  and that alone can cure many ills faced by the children and youth. It can help the girls to retrieve themselves1.

In yet another instance, a 5 years old orphan boy in a care centre for the AIDS infected persons   stunned the onlookers by saying that if his father had had proper parenting, he would not have gone astray and ended with AIDS, infecting his mother too2. Even this small lad knows the importance of parenthood.   Everyone knows about parenting and follow the kind of parenting demonstrated by their parents or that which they have learnt through courses or training or advice given by psychologists or gurus.

Styles of Parenting:

Just as there are different types of human beings, there are different types of styles of parents.    The parents’ style influences the level and kind of development of the child.    Whatever may be the style of parenting the essentials to be looked into are, “Express your love, make your child feel secure. Build their self-esteem. Stay flexible and recognize the time for change as your child grows. Communicate openly and honestly and be confident  in your own ability”3. When you talk to your child, you should be actually listening not just hearing.

There are different types of parenting, such as “Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive4”.   Parents who are very clear about their role and give instructions with confidence can be considered as Authoritative.   The Reader’s Digest Great Dictionary of the English language shows that authoritative means commanding and self confident, while authoritarian implies, favoring or enforcing strict obedience to authority5.  It is similar to dictatorship.

Another variety of parenting is known as permissive.  These parents allow their children to follow their own path, mostly non-interfering.   It is similar to saying, “let the sleeping dogs lie” as they are.   These parents do not want to follow any strict rules or take up much responsibility in bringing up their children.   There is another mode of classifying the parents.   According to this classification, there are three types of parents, such as Consultant, Helicopter, Dull Sergeants6.

On the other hand, those “who want to give the child what will be best and most helpful for him”, will have the goal of preparing the child for life as a productive adult. They would spend quality time with the child, imparting ethical values to the child.  The gifts given by such parents would be, “religious books, enjoyable pastimes, academics, home skills and chances for socialization” 9.

If a child is to be successful in life, the appropriate parental care is necessary.    But, of course, there are children who grow up into successful adults, in spite of defective parenting.   But such cases are very rare.   The society at present is facing problems of parenting especially in the case of single parent, divorced parents, simple and extended families. Most of the children brought up by single parent and unmarried mothers, find it difficult to cope with the pressures in the family and society.

Parenting Skills:

With, hectic work schedule of the parents, the heavy load of learning coupled with  many distractions and the problems faced by the society, the children are looking for the support of their parents for a secure life.    It is ordinarily observed that parenting without proper foundation has always and indefinitely led to confusions in  child development.    What is essential is

• Developing and clarifying clear communicative expectations.
• Staying calm in the midst of turmoil
• Encouraging positive consequences and consistency.
• Being the role model to your child.
• Effective praising.

To be a successful parent discipline is necessary.  At the same time, there should be consistency in whatever the parents are saying and doing, parents should have a preplanned, pre-developed strategy to teach proper behaviour to the child. That is, both the parents,or the single parent should make their expectations clear to the child. , Both of them can sail smoothly while bringing up their child.    They should be very specific and firm in teaching their children. Moreover, the parents must take into consideration the child’s age, ability, developmental status and the resources that are available for the family.11   Once the expectations are clearly stated, it is necessary that both the parents should communicate it to the child, without contradictions.    In addition to these, there should be frequent family ‘get togethers’.  Instead of punishing the child for not abiding by the expectations, it will be better to have discussions to clear the child’s doubts and parents being role models.

Ray Burke states that “Children can be sarcastic, defiant, rebellious and possibly violent, parents have to prepare themselves for times like these and learn to keep cool” 12.   Yet another way to increase or encourage desirable behavior is to use positive consequences.    What the parents should remember is to use the positive consequences that would work with the child.   While developing a child’s behavior the parents should remember “consistency”.    Consistency is the key to being a successful parent.    This gives the message to the child that “your parents are reliable and serious”.

The most important aspect of successful parents is that the parents should be role model for their child 13. The parent should be a positive role model for their child to follow.    As Ray Burke say, “Praise is powerful…. Praise is nourishment.   It helps in the emotional development.  It helps in building up self-esteem, belief of personal satisfaction, feeling of security.”14    The praise should be communicated to the child either verbally or through action.

Parenting Skills :

• Discipline
• Education
• Finance

With the social changes,  the extended family that existed earlier, which played the vital role of a model, a shock absorber, a vent for relieving one’s feelings has become a thing of the past.   Hence, the parents of the modern era have to learn creative ways of bringing up their children.   It is found that the most important but controversial parenting skills is DISCIPLINE.   Whether the method is, redirection, time-outs, loss of privileges, grounding, extra chores, or sparking, the parents should embrace their role to train their children to become moral and respectable adults15. The second skill to be acquired by the parents is regarding education.  The parents should also be educating their children in moral values.   The child’s education should take into consideration certain important facts16:

Conclusion

There is no doubt that children bring us much joy and much responsibility.   Most of the stress and worry of bringing them up can be reduced or removed with proper, careful planning.    The parents should plan when to have a child.   The working mother, if she is to stay at home, once the child is born, should plan earlier to save as much as possible and cut down the family expenditure.   Both the parents have to plan to set aside enough time to be with the child, not only when it is a baby, but till the child becomes an adult.

The parents, need not be only the problematic, should avail of training in parenting skill as much as possible. First of all, both parents should have a congenial and frank communication between them.   Only then, once the child comes into the family, they will be able to communicate with the child easily.   Further the “ego”, the concept of “I” should be relegated to the background.    It is possible that the child becomes sick at times mildly, at times seriously.    Both the parents should take responsibility of looking after the child, not blaming each other as the cause of sickness.    The child rearing, though filled with difficulties, hurdles and events that test one’s tolerance, is undoubtedly a pleasure.  It is a joy.   A successful parent should know how to smile.    That will reduce the stress and pain of the child.    As it grows into adolescent stage, the skills of the parents should be developed further.    They should know more about the physique, the psychology and mental development of the child.

It should be remembered that the requisites of  an effective parent are dedication, attention, love and constant denial of easily administering swift punishment. Though parenting is time consuming, the fruits are very attractive.    The future generation and its success depends on the effective, successful and cheerful parents of today to a great extent.

Author and full article: Shyamala Karunakarapandian

Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/publishing-articles/basics-of-parenting-745594.html